A 'Skullet' is not a good look for anyone.

This was actually written back in late July/early August. I figured I was long past a blog post, and I felt bad I never finished this, because I thought it was interesting. Enjoy.

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to attend Central Illinois Metalfest with my brother, Nick, and his friend, Vaden. Not to be confused with his dog, Vader, who also visited. It turned out to be less confusing than it sounds.

Since I'm not really 'into' Metal, and truth be told I can't pick out a good band from a crappy band, I spent most of the time trying to figure out what was going on. These shows are really fun...even if you're not a huge fan of the music, live, it's a great time. I think I had more fun this year than last, and I was totally sober this year (I suppose some of that could be WHY it was more fun...I didn't puke in the bathroom, I didn't fall asleep, and I didn't go from drunk to hungover all in one night). This is not a compendium of Metal truths, nor is it to be taken as such. They are simply a neophyte's observations. And if someone reading wants to correct me...please do.

Music
From what I gathered, there are (at least) two types of Metal: Death Metal (Old School Fucking Death Metal) and Grindcore. CIM's website also advertised 'Black Metal,' but I couldn't tell you what that is. Grindcore seems to be popular, especially among the newer bands and younger fans. Nick prefers Death Metal to Grindcore. Grindcore is almost purely technical, while Death Metal has more cool guitar riffs. I think I also prefer Death Metal. For those of you totally unversed, the vocals are nearly exclusively growls, the almost-incomprehensible 'Cookie Monster' voice. The vocalists (almost exclusively men, but there are female vocalists, who, according to my brother are almost always 'gimmicks') generally either use a low growl, or a higher-pitched rasp, or sometimes a combination of the two. Occasionally there's 'harmony' between a couple of vocalists, that's pretty cool actually.

Most of the bands have 4 or 5 members: a drummer, a bassist, and a guitarist or two and a vocalist or two, and often the vocalists are also guitarists. Though not always. And from what I can tell there's no feeling that those bands who have vocalists who don't play anything are any less talented. However, a handful of bands only have one member. This is not super common, but nor is it extremely rare. One of the most popular sets of the night was a one-man band called Putrid Pile (more on names later). He had a pre-recorded drum track, and then he played the guitar and did vocals. In one song he had his friend do vocals with him, but otherwise it was just him. And, again, I didn't get the impression that he was any less legitimate than any of the other bands.

Appearance
Standard apparel is the same for both the fans and the band members. For men, most common is jeans or shorts, any color (though dark washes and camo tend to be favorites) and black band t-shirts. Aside from those working the show, I think I saw one guy wearing a red t-shirt (though I'm pretty sure it may have also been a band shirt), and Vaden wore a navy band shirt. A couple of guys had just plain black t-shirts, and one guy had a 'Night of the Living Dead' black shirt. Hair is generally either long or shaved, and there's usually some amount of facial hair, most popularly in a grown-out goatee. The vocalist for Deceased (my favorite of the night; I even considered buying a shirt and/or CD from them) was a bit older, and probably at one point had an awesome head of hair. Unfortunately, he now has a huge bald spot. And very long hair. Not a good look. Putrid Pile, by comparison, was very clean-cut: he actually reminded me of Ben Lombardi from college, who is now, I believe, a 3rd-grade teacher.  It was a touch eerie.

The few women in attendance wore more varied things. I saw one or two girls much in the same dress as the men, though a few had somehow altered their band t-shirts to be tube tops over tank tops. I also saw a couple girls in very Hot-Topic-y dress, with fishnets and skulls and zippers. And then I saw some girls in much more 'club' attire, and they looked a bit out of place. Very cute, and very out of place.

Tattoos are widely popular. Piercings aren't prevalent, but they're not uncommon. And then usually they're just ear piercings.

Oh, and contrary to the Death Metal episode of Bones (Mayhem on a Cross, which happens to be on tonight), no one was wearing any kind of makeup. I mean the girls were wearing makeup, but no black-and-white stage makeup, or fake blood or anything, and I don't think any of the guys were wearing eyeliner. At all. That actually would have probably been considered a bit gay. More on that later, too.

Band Names
Band names are...well, they're creative. Here's a sampling:

Coathanger Abortion
Embryonic Devourment
Carnal Decay
Lecherous Nocturne
Incantation
Rottenness
Sadichist (whose guitarist is formerly of Gorgasm)
Putrid Pile, as mentioned
Deceased
Malevolent Creation

Typical names tend to have some element of death or decay, or even though I don't think many are actual theistic Satanists, some kind of demonic or at least anti-Christian connotation. I think that in my spare time, I'm going to come up with band names. How about Crucified Fetus? Or Necrotized Stab Wound?

Band t-shirts also have a definite 'look.' Similar fonts: spiky, often hard to read. Nick bought an 'Incantation' shirt, and I could have sworn at first that it said 'Incantatron.' Huge, colorful graphics that depict decaying bodies, demons, or bastardized Christian symbols. Many are actually quite beautiful, in their own kind of disturbing way.

Political and Religious Beliefs
Though I imagine not everyone shares these beliefs, based on conversations with my brother and Vaden,  and some shirts I saw, it seems pretty standard. Unfortunately, it's a fairly racist, misogynist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic culture. I'm assuming they're mostly libertarian, "conservative" but no neo-con, Christian, 'family-first' attitude. Quite the opposite, actually. As I mentioned before, I don't think too many of them are actual theistic Satanists--it's more of a, 'we all think Christianity is stupid and horrible and Satanic imagery is the most opposite of Christianity than we can think of.'

________

Here is where I stopped writing, for whatever reason. Probably because it was getting long, most likely because Tia was being bratty. Anyway, I think one big point I was going to make is that even if I could REALLY get into the music, I could not be REALLY a part of the culture, especially due to the last point.

We did it!!!

A week late is better than never, but TIA PASSED HER GOOD CITIZEN TEST!!!!! It was kind of a pity pass. She did everything really well...until we came to the grooming, and once more, there was freaking out, jumping, and making all sorts of weird sounds (one of the helpers said 'she sounds like a whale!'). So I assumed we failed. Again. But at the end of the class, they were all conversing, and I guess decided to give us another chance. So we walked around a little bit, and they tried again. Same thing. Then they let her lay down, and chew on the leash, and chew on my hands, and one of the girls was able to get about 5 brushes in. And so they counted it. Like I said, a pity pass. But I'll take it!

We were told we'd get a medal. What we really got was an oversized dog tag. It's going to go on my keyring or something, DEFINITELY not Tia's collar. It's some serious bling. She might get beat up at the dog park. We will also be sending in our "pass" form to the AKC so we can get a sweet certificate (that we will be framing).

We're repeating 10th grade

Or whatever  it works out to be in my doggy class school year system. We are currently enrolled in Level 3, which is the Canine Good Citizen class (I call it doggy high school). The CGC test was developed by the American Kennel Club as a way to promote responsible pet ownership and basic doggy manners, or something like that. It's a 10-part test. The tasks are: 

1. The dog has to chill out while people come up to you and shake your hand.
2. The dog has to stay in a 'sit' or a 'down' while people come up to them and pet them.
3. The dog has to stay in a 'sit' or a 'stand' while people come up to them and brush them, and then the owner has to show the dog's paws, ears, and teeth.
4. The dog stays in a 'down' while the owner walks across the room and back.
5. A different person takes the dog from the room and I guess the dog has to not freak out that they're away from their owner.
6. The dog has to walk in a 'heel' around a little obstacle course.
7. 'Defensive walking,' ie you basically walk your dog around while someone else walks their dog around and you have to make sure that your dog doesn't freak out.
8. Apparently also a part of the defensive walking is something where you have to shake hands with the person walking the other dog, and your dog can't show more than a 'casual interest' in the other dog.
9. The dog has to come when called, and then 'sit' and not jump up on its owner.
10. Your dog has to chill out while people run around and make noise.

Tia does rather surprisingly well at much of this...but she has some serious issues. Issues we're not entirely sure how deal with. Our biggest task we have problems with is the 'sit' while being groomed. Here's the thing: We worked with her a TON to get her to let us pick up her paws and show her ears and teeth. And she generally lets us without putting up much of a fuss. We tried the same tactic to get her to let someone come up to her and brush her...and to no avail. At home, it's mostly fine. But as soon as we're at school, she goes ballistic about it. Lisa, the trainer, gave us a suggestion on how to train her with that...but it honestly doesn't seem like much different from what we've been doing, and I'm not sure that it'll 'transfer' to class.

But the biggest issue we have is the simple matter that Tia is noisy. Unpredictably so.  It's the worst with the grooming, but sometimes she just gets going at random times, and for no apparent reason. And the advice that Lisa gave me was to try to quell it before she builds on it...but I thought I already did that! She's just a nut-job!

So tonight, 5 out of the 9 dogs passed the test. Apparently this is way more than usual, but that doesn't make it any better. So for the rest of the class, the dogs who have passed--all the calm dogs--will be on one side of the room learning Rally O (doggy PSEO). All the nut jobs will be on the other side, with my crazy nut job. You put a reactive dog with a bunch of even more reactive dogs, and guess what you get?! Lisa and the 'helpers' have faith that Tia will pass...but Tjett and I aren't so sure. We might have to repeat high school.

10 Things I Hate About Summer

It got HOT fast. A week ago, it was pretty much as though the good Lord switched around April and May just for funsies. It was chilly, cloudy, windy, and rainy. Kinda gross. And this weekend: POOF! 90 degrees!!! Not even kidding. Is it too much to ask for to go from chilly to mid-70s and sunny? Just for a week? A weekend? A day, even?? So I'm hot. My dog's hot. I think I might hate this weather more than last week's. 

Let's be honest here, I REALLY like winter. I realize that may sound odd, but I really do. I think I might like it better than summer, despite the scads of undergrads who crowd my bus and my favorite lunch destinations. But to put things in perspective for myself, I've created a list of pros and cons about summer:

Pros

• Grass feels nice under bare feet.
• Grilling. Tjett's been on a roll, and I am really liking the frequent grilled chicken and veggie burgers.
• Zucchini!!!
• Berries are in season! I like putting them on my cereal or in smoothies.
• Ice cream every day
• Summery drinks, like Absolut Ruby Red and cranberry juice, mojitos, daiquiris...
• The farmer's market. There you can buy the zucchini, and berries, tomatoes, eggs, bread, honey...and Tia has a good time there, too. Everyone likes petting the big white dog!
• Cute tops and dresses. I don't generally do 'cute,' but summer calls for it. Today I am wearing a rather inappropriate-for-work-but-who's-going-to-see-it off-white, flowy tank top. I like it. I don't have many excuses to wear things like it, and it's fun...
• The undergrads are gone! Buses are on time, there are available seats, and lines at restaurants aren't huge, even at noon...
• My birthday
• Our anniversary
• Lots of daylight
• Trees really do look better with leaves
• That humid smell when you walk on trails surrounded by grasses and flowers...

Cons

• Sure, the grass is great until all the bugs come out...
• What good is wearing cute tank tops when everywhere you go is FREEZING because some numb-nuts decided to turn the AC on too high?! Seriously!! Save some money, set your thermostat higher, and let me wear my adorable and slightly slutty clothes without wishing I had a jacket.
• Also along the lines of clothing, I sweat a lot. So my cute shirts often end up looking really, really bad with some serious sweat stains during and after I wear them. It's gross, it's embarrassing, and it makes me less likely to wear cute things because I get so paranoid that I'm sweating right through it...
• I have to put on a copious amount of suncreen so as to not get fried to a crisp. The sun's bad for your skin, period. I found this out (more than I already knew) last year when my face blew up because I forgot to put on sunblock while I was volunteering at the marathon.
• You stick to everything. 
• Cooling takes, I believe, more energy than heating. And you can under-heat in the winter...just throw on a few blankets, have a mug of hot cocoa and you're good to go. But if you under-cool in the summer, you still stick to everything, the dog's still miserable, and sweat still runs down your legs. Ick. And the only real solution is to cool more which means more money, honey...
• The dog's miserable. Poor thing...and I think she's afraid of the fans. I think she doesn't like stuff blowing at her, even though it would make her so much more comfortable...
• Exercising blows. I ran 2.5 miles today, at 7:30 am...and I was sweltering. I sweat right through my shirt, my face was way redder than usual, and I got dehydrated faster. It was awful.
• I get paid less in the summer.
• The A/C in my car broke AGAIN, which means I either have to pay $75 or whatever to get it recharged AGAIN, or else be miserable while driving, and have a miserable puppy in the back seat.
• Jerks who leave their dogs in the car while they shop...When it's cold outside, usually the car will be somewhat warm enough so that in the hour that the owner is in the store, the dog won't freeze, unless it's a chihuahua or something. But some idiots leave their dogs in the car in the summer...I don't care if your window is rolled down 'a crack' or all the way, it's not enough. I was at Meijer yesterday and someone's poor dog was barking and whining through a cracked window of a pickup truck. It's sad, and it's cruel. I hope that dog was ok.
• Yard work.

So ok, there are plenty of things I like about summer. They're just hard to remember on days like today...

Things I Love Thursday

It's been a really long time since I posted anything, and I figured that a TILT post would be a good one to go with...

• Indian food: It had been awhile since I'd gotten Indian, so yesterday my friend Rachel and I went to Bombay, the local/campus Indian restaurant (the owners also have a bigger restaurant a little farther away that has a killer lunch buffet). Bombay has its food organized by price: $6.99, $7.49, $7.99, $8.99, and $9.99. Unfortunately, most of my favorite dishes are in the $7.99 category...not terribly expensive, but it makes me kind of sad. Thankfully, they have a $6.99 daily special, and usually it's some kind of chicken masala. Yesterday it was Himalaya Chicken Masala...served up with a huge piece of naan. Mmmmm....The best part? Leftovers! Hooray for lunch!!! 

• Tia: Well, of course I love her. But this morning she was SO GOOD, or at least until about 10 minutes before I left. I hope she's feeling ok...

• My rock opera: I've decided that it's my new life goal to write a rock opera. I realize that I lack really any writing or composing talent (all the 'original' tunes I think of are really just conglomerates of songs I've heard)...but it's fun to think about. I'm thinking it'll be a Faustian story, perhaps with Vikings. Mephistopheles (or whatever Devil-esque equivalent I think up) will have to 'sing' in near-death growls...like maybe not so much that you can't understand him, but growely enough. The love interest can maybe be Bjork, so someone with a really unique and intense soprano voice. (ETA: The girl from Evanescence. Definitely.) As for the hero? I'm debating. My obvious choice would be Jerry Cantrell, but I like him even more when he's harmonizing. Maybe Viking Faust could have a buddy...

Next running goal

I forgot to mention one thing in my earlier post, but it's so long anyway I figured I'd make a new one. In my plastic bag o' goodies that I got at the running Expo on Friday, there were a bazillion ads for marathons in other cities. There is one in Detroit in mid-October...that goes to Canada (twice!!) and goes through the underwater tunnel!! And I figured out that I have just enough time to train for a half...so I might try to do it!  And in this one, EVERYBODY gets a 'performance' t-shirt...

Oh, and a bee!

It's been a great weekend!! Seriously, this is one of the best weekends I've had (not counting the one in Dubuque with Becky and Gretchen and Amelia) in awhile. Let me re-cap:

(ETA: I just realized how long this post was. Read it all if you want detail, else scroll to the bottom and I'll have a bulleted list of pertinent points)

Friday night, as mentioned before, Tjett and I went over to our neighbors' house for dinner. It was so much fun. When I said like they seemed like nice people, I wasn't mistaken. Super, ridiculously, amazingly, nice people. Hanna and Brian had cooked just an amazing meal: Grilled chicken breasts that had been marinated in a variety of flavors (one was teriyaki, one was lemon herb or something, honey barbeque...and something else delicious that I don't remember); a lentil salad with parsley, red peppers, and walnuts; cooked carrots and zucchini. And for dessert, we had HOMEMADE cheesecake. So good. Their little girls were pretty cute. Anastasia, who's 8 months old (and almost walking!!), and Esther, who is almost exactly 2 years older. Esther is a talker. My goodness is she a talker. Brian and Hanna are both talkative, but neither of them are particularly loud. Esther is a loud kid. But an adorable loud kid. But we just had really good conversation, and just a really nice time. I hope we hang out with them again!!

Saturday morning was the Illinois Marathon. I ran the 5k. I discovered at the Expo on Friday that everyone BUT the 5k and relay runners received 'commemorative drawstring bags' and polyester/wicking/running shirts. We got a plastic bag with a cotton tee. But it all worked out! I still don't have a 'performance' shirt, but my friend Adam was running the half and volunteering which meant that he got 2 bags, so he gave me his extra one :)

But the race itself: It. Was. AWESOME. Started out kind of terrible...I had to pee almost as soon as we lined up, and the announcer guy kept saying '15 minutes' or '5 minutes' but then '10 minutes!' I had started kind of far back, and it was really hard to hear him. So he could have been saying, you know, 15 minutes until some guy made a speech, or whatever...but I didn't want to miss the start, and so I just dealt. Turns out I probably could have gone (about 10 times) but I didn't. Also, it was a 5k run/walk. I thought I was starting in a good position...I wasn't at the very very back because I was going to be running, but since I am by no means fast or competitive, I tried to start pretty far back. Apparently I started too far back. Or more likely, the walkers started too far up. And wouldn't stay to the right. I wasn't the only one trying to weave in and out of people...even though I'm not trying to set a world record, I was still trying to do my best, and it's frustrating getting 'stuck' behind people! But the run was great. I was trying to push myself, so by the middle of the second mile I was pretty tired. But I somehow caught a second wind and finished really strong. The course was as such that it ended in the football stadium...as we rounded the last corner, we went down a ramp, onto the field, and there was cheering, and I got high-fived by at least 3 people. I saw the time as I finished, and it was not quite a minute faster than my previous time. I got a really kickin' medal, and then I had some water and we hung around for a little bit, then went home to try to find our friends in the marathon (which we did not...we live right by the 4 mile mark, and all of our friends run more than 4 miles in an hour...we were just a few miles too early!).

We checked the official chip time later on...ok. This is huge. Forget almost a minute...I knocked of THREE (3!!!) entire minutes off of my time!!!!!!! I finished in 32:57!!!!!

Then we went to Kohls, because Tjett needed a belt and I wanted to find new jeans. Jeans shopping always leaves me angry and depressed. Women's jeans are sized in such a way that even though you may be one size most of the time, certain brands will run small, or fit differently, or forget about your hips. Most of the time I just can't find jeans. And the ones that come closest to fitting are usually 1 or 2 sizes above what I think I am or should be. So I wasn't totally looking forward to this. I tried on one pair that was the size I normally am. Not surprisingly, they didn't fit and I was angry and sad. There was the terrible back-gap, and the front just didn't fit right at all. And then it dawned on me...these jeans were too BIG! So Tjett convinced me to try on a size smaller...and oh my goodness, they fit. Mostly, anyway... But yes. It is possible that Levi runs some of its jeans big...but what a good feeling. I haven't been able to fit into almost anything this size since 10th grade. God bless running.

Saturday night we had a post-race party at my friend Greg's house. We didn't stay past 10:30, but the few hours we spent there were really fun. I saw some people I hadn't seen in ages, and ate a lot of good food and drank some (but not too much!) booze. Claire made these AMAZING asparagus roll-ups...white bread, chive cream cheese, and a stick(?) of asparagus, wrapped up and stuck in the oven for awhile. I ate about 10 of them, and I wanted more. I could have made my meal entirely out of them. She also made fruit pizza for dessert, which I liked way better than my Oreo truffles (everyone else seemed to like them; I thought they were kinda gross). We also watched some of the local news coverage of the marathon. The news teams in town are not great. I've been spoiled by Kare 11. But they had a little blurb about some of the outfits that people wore to race...including my friends Marla and Adam, who dressed up for the half as a banana and bee, respectively. The news lady was about done with the segment when she saw Adam's costume and just said, "Oh! and a bee! I just saw it!"

That brings us to today. This morning was my once-a-month high school sunday school gig, and I was pretty sure we would talk about Salvation. Until I got there...someone had donated a big screen LED TV and mounted it in the High School room at church. I was kind of joking around with one of the other high school teachers that we should just watch The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (it was in the stack of movies, and it has very Christian themes)...and then Pastor Julia came in, asked if we were using the DVD Player because she only had a couple confirmands show up and so she wanted to have them watch something. And then she suggested we combine classes and watch it :) And so we did. The first 45 minutes, anyway. I like talking to these kids, but it was a fairly nice surprise not to have to try to mediate a conversation.

And then the CROP walk. It was about 5-6 miles through campus, and we brought Tia. At first she was a bit hyperactive, but after about a mile she calmed down, and then she tuckered out pretty fast. It was kind of a cramped walk, but we walked with the folks from church and it was a good time. I think last year was better organized and a nicer route, but this was fun too.

And we had nachos for dinner.

What a great weekend.
__________________________

In short:

• Eating with my neighbors was great.
• I cut off 3 minutes of my 5k time! I got a sweet medal. Marla was a banana, Adam was a bee.
• I officially am down one pants size...
• Fun with folks I haven't seen in awhile.
• Movie at church!
• CROP walk and sleepy Tia!