Surgery Post V: 2 Months Later

I am one-third of the way done healing, apparently. According to my surgeon, it takes 6 months for my little titanium friend to fully incorporate into my bone. And then it might take a little more time for my foot to really feel like MY foot, and be used to walking on it and the like. But I'm healing up according to schedule, which is a nice thing. I am no longer using a cast or a boot or even crutches; I'm in my regular shoe with an ankle brace for stability. I can shower (as opposed to bathe), and I can even walk a little barefoot from the bathroom to the bedroom. It is all very exciting.

A couple weeks after my surgery, a friend of mine asked me if I was happy that I had done it. At that time, my foot was in a cast, and I really had no idea. Since I'm still not totally healed, I still can't say for sure, but I thought I would jot down some things I've noticed.

• I have an arch. For those of you who have regular arches, try to imagine for a minute that if your feet are on the floor, you can't stick a finger under your foot at all. This is how both of my feet were (and one still is). But now I can! I also got to see before and after x-rays, and it's amazing how...normal! my foot looks now!
• My knee goes over my toes! This is the biggest reason that I never would have been a successful ballerina (and yes, I was classically trained...until I was 13 or 14, anyway). I just never was able to put my knees over my toes, and it turns out it's because of my feet. I notice that when I walk, I no longer throw my foot out...if anything, I'm slightly pigeon-toeing because I'm used to trying to compensate. It's very weird, and very cool.
• Speaking of, I've completely forgotten how to walk. I'm working on it, and it's getting more natural.
• Weirdly enough, the most painful part of walking right now is directly under my pinky toe. Maybe that bone just never had pressure on it?
• My ankle is still enormous. 
• If I didn't have the bone in a cup in my zucchini planter, I would think they maybe forgot to take it out. There is still a bump where they took it out. I don't know if it's just that everybody has a little bump there (I really don't know) and maybe they didn't remove as much as I had assumed they would, or maybe it's just still really swollen. 
• The skin on my fourth toe, and also the skin on the inside of my lower calf, is totally numb. Apparently this is completely normal.
• The scars on my foot are pretty thin, but the one on my calf is pretty ugly. Turns out Mederma is $20 a little tube, but while I am not terribly vain, I really want this scar to be a little less...noticeable.
• I already mentioned the crazy amount of gross extra skin that came when I was in a cast for 6 weeks. What I didn't mention was the hair. I have always had, as I'm sure a lot of people have, very fine, very light hair between my ankle and big toe on the top of my foot. For whatever reason, my body decided that since I was in a cast and my skin was swelling (or something), that super light, super fine hair turned coarse and DARK. I have a cavewoman foot. I don't totally know what to do about it. I'm hoping it will just kind of go away after some time, or at least not grow back after awhile if I shave it off.

Top Ten Things I'll Miss In Ur-Paign[1}

...assuming I ever, ever get to leave. I make no bones about not loving grad school, and Tjett's employment opportunities, frankly, suck. But I have realized in my 5 years that there are indeed things I like about this town...other than, of course, my friends.

1. My surgeon. In case anyone in town is facing foot surgery and is wondering, 'How good IS Dr. Sean Grambart at Carle in Champaign?' well, wonder no more. He is awesome. He is kind, professional, easy to talk to[2], reassuring, and as far as I know (as I'm not yet healed) extremely competent. It seems like 'everyone' I talk to (because there are so many people in town I've talked to who have had foot surgery) has the same great opinion of him. And unless the nurses/medical assistants are amazing liars, they all seem to like him too. My guess is that I'll most likely need to get my other foot 'done,' and most likely I'll be gone by then. I only hope that wherever we end up, there is an equally wonderful surgeon.
2. My church. When I first started going to St Matthew Lutheran Church in Urbana, I honestly wasn't wild about the service. But I came back because the pastors and the people and the social ministry that St Matts does is just phenomenal. I am so fortunate to have found this place. I was blessed to have great pastors growing up, and I can't believe how blessed I am again to have such wonderful people in my life. 
3. Beer Fest. Or more accurately, the International Beer and Chili Tasting Festival. Tjett and I go for the beer. Held in late September/early October, it is a little pricey but well worth it. And it's within a nice night's drunken walking distance, so no problems there. Also it's special to us because that's where Tjett proposed (more or less; he waited until we got home).
4. Central Illinois Metal Fest. As ridiculous as those weekends always turn out, it's fun, and it's nice to have an excuse for my brother to come visit and eat sushi with me.
5. The dog park. I realize that wherever we end up may have a fenced-in off-leash dog park, but there's no guarantee. Tia REALLY benefits from ~weekly romps around several acres and socializing with other dogs.
6. NISA. Northern Illinois Samoyed Assistance, which is where we got Tia, is located in Arlington Heights (outside of Chicago). There seem to be several Samoyed rescue groups in the nation, but not too many that ever actually have dogs. I guess that's good. But we really like Sams, and I am not at place in my life that I would want to get a puppy...both from an 'oh my goodness puppies are HARD' as well as a social 'I'd rather adopt a homeless dog' standpoint. 
7. The co-ops and farmers market. We have a pretty good (if expensive) co-op in town, and a fabulous farmers market in the summer. Visiting the market with Tjett and Tia is one of my favorite things to do. We also have a cool art co-op that Tjett and I recently discovered. 
8. Friar Tuck. Tuck's is a FABULOUS specialty beer/wine/liquor store. Every time I go in I feel like a kid in a candy store. They have an entire WALL of really good beer, as well as a cooler where they have things like LaBatt in cans (for camping or the racetrack!). Few things make me sadder than seeing people leave that store with 24-packs of Bud Light. 
9. Ballet and Habitat. I'm clumping these together because they're both things that I like to do, wish I could do more of, and mostly likely won't get to this summer because of el surgery-o. We have an amazing adult ballet instructor, who also happens to be the Dean of the business college or something. The Habitat folks are also super awesome, and very very active, with annual build(s) and a 'ReStore' where you can donate and buy used furniture. 
10. Restaurants: Black Dog, Crane Alley, Basil Thai and Miko. I also figured I would lump all the restaurants together, as I could probably have made a top-ten list of only restaurants and bars. One of Tjett's absolute favorite places in town is Black Dog. Black Dog is this magnificent BBQ place that is far too small but has excellent food, reasonable prices, and a stellar, rotating draft beer list. Crane Alley is the grad student bar/restaurant of choice...the food is surprisingly good, and they have a massive beer list. However, the service is pretty terrible. I still like it. Basil Thai is a very-close-to-work Thai restaurant. I go there a little too often with my friend Maria. It's not even close to being the very best Thai restaurant in the world, or even in town, but when you want something spicy and good for lunch it's a great place to go. And finally, Miko is where my brother and I go to get sushi when he visits. It's delicious.

[1] Adam discovered that in the 70s the way the 'cool kids' referred to Urbana-Champaign. I like it better than Chambana, so I use it too.

[2] Not to mention easy on the eyes...

Surgery Post IV: Things I was blatantly LIED TO about

It's been awhile since I've posted anything about my surgery. This was what I really, really wanted to write, but have been putting off. Granted, a month and a half after the fact I'm a little less super-raged about this, but I felt it should still be shared before I forget.

• "You can wear plastic jewelry in your piercings." When I scheduled my surgery, a month or two before it even happened, one of the nurses was going over my instructions for the day-of. "Wear comfortable clothing, no make-up, no jewelry--" "What about piercings?" I asked. "No piercings...but if you want to keep some holes open you can wear plastic jewelry." "What about quartz?" "What's that?" "Glass..." "No, it has to be plastic." "Ok." So you see, I did not just imagine being told that I could wear plastic jewelry in my piercings. So then I proceeded to order some plastic jewelry on interwebs, but then I waited too long and was afraid it wouldn't come in time, so then I bought some more from Hot Topic and the body jewelry cart in the mall. Overall, not a huge financial setback, but one I'd rather not have made in vain. When I went into surgery, the nurse there went over the same questions. "No makeup?" "No." "No jewelry?" "Only plastic." "...That still needs to come out..." And we chatted. She leafed through their rule book, and even called the nurse at the front. Who, apparently, was so irritated that I had been lied to that she wanted to know the girl's name who told me this. I didn't know it. But anyway, they gave me a denture cup to put my ugly, plastic, non-returnable jewelry into. It took me about a week to get everything[1] back in, but thankfully, I was at least able to.

• "The worst part of the nerve block will be that it feel really weird when we make your foot move and you aren't doing it." BULL. SHIT. Maybe if it hadn't been the first time the anesthesiologist had done this particular type of nerve block, that would have been true. But it HURT. It took a REALLY long time (15-20 minutes?) of this douche-nozzle[2] poking and digging around in my thigh until he was about to give up, and miraculously as he was pulling the electrode out he FINALLY hit my nerve. Which leads me to my next, and very related point:

• "We're giving you something so that you won't remember this." GO FUCK YOURSELVES. I feel like that if I remember being said this to, and I remember my jag-off anesthesiologist telling the nurse to give me more of whatever this magic Roofie was supposed to be, they did their job wrong. Especially considering that, oh, I do remember just how bad it was. My friend Emily who is a nurse tells me that they tried to 'Twilight' me. Apparently, it didn't take. Also, not anything I suppose I was lied to about, but the insertion site of this thing was ridiculously painful, which made getting remotely comfortable later on almost impossible. I'm seriously considering not getting another one if I have to get my other foot done.

• "It's just a little mosquito bite, and it doesn't hurt at all." Earlier, I mentioned that I was not told that, oh BTW, you're going to have to give yourself a shot every day for the next 10 days. I understand the importance of these shots. My family has a history of blood clots[3] and I'm on birth control[4] so apparently I'm at high risk. I'm a pretty 'big-girl' about shots. I don't usually mind them too much. But I can't say I was looking forward to this at all. I was comforted, however, by the fact that both my nursing student, her nursing teacher, and my friend Emily had told me that this shot was no big deal. A teeny, tiny little needle. A mosquito bite. Deep breath. Ok. Let's do this. The stick itself wasn't too bad. But the injection was HORRIBLE. It hurt SO BAD. The worst part though? No one believed me! A combination of being tired, hungry, in pain, knowing I'd have to put myself in pain, and not having anyone believe that I was in pain, and I burst into tears. After telling me for the twelfth time, 'that's a little baby shot! It doesn't hurt!' my wonderful nurse, Jayme, finally thought maybe I was telling the truth. She looked at the injection site...and I had a big rash emanating from it. Whoops! But then, the 5 other nurses that Jayme had brought in to figure out why I was in so much pain decided that clearly I was allergic to the alcohol swab. Yeah, no. Definitely, I'm allergic to Lovenox, which apparently almost no one is. Due to the fact that no, I couldn't have just taken an aspirin and a shot of vodka every day instead, and the other formulation is not yet generic, not covered by insurance, and therefore cost about a month's salary, I ended up taking the damn Lovenox, but with an ice pack and Benedryl beforehand.

[1] It's not like I have a hundred. But I do have a few I was worried about closing up...

[2] He actually seemed like a pretty nice guy, before I hated him more than Nickelback. Especially considering that he came to check up on me afterward and went almost PROUDLY into detail about how hard it was to find my nerve and how he had to dig around in there for so long...

[3] Thanks, Grandma! I also appreciate the tiny boobs and lazy eye. (No really, I love her very very much!)

[4] Woooo!

Surgery Post III: Things No One Told Me

Much like "Oh by the way, the reason you have a sore throat is because we shoved a breathing tube down your throat but we didn't want to tell you beforehand (see previous post)," there were definitely a few things that I wasn't expecting, because simply put, no one bothered telling me. Some are more serious than others.

• They put the nerve block in while you're still awake. The nerve block is a wonderful invention...I believe it's the same technology as an epidural, only instead of going in the spine, it went in my thigh to make just about my entire calf and foot totally numb so that when I got out of surgery, I would have next to no pain at all. I assumed this would be done while I was already unconscious. Nope! While awake. I have lots more to say about this, but that will be part of a later post.
• Peeing is REALLY hard. They had me use the bed pan for the first night. Part of it is, I'm sure, psychological...I've been actively, purposefully, NOT peeing in my bed for 23-odd years. But that aside, something about the anesthesia or the morphine simply makes it really, physically, difficult to pee. I have never had to concentrate so hard to pee before. And then, of course, as soon as my body 'remembered' how to go, I had to go every hour or two all night long. But even though I 'had to,' it was hard. 
• My toes look like plastic. So says my husband. My TOES are swollen. I had my plaster/gauze/Ace bandage splint replaced today with a sweet green cast, so I finally got to see my foot. There is so much swelling, but apparently it's perfectly normal. For some reason, I was not expecting this much.
• Oh, and, by the way, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE YOURSELF A SHOT EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS. It's so I don't get a blood clot. That would be bad. I was wondering why I had gotten a packet in the mail, "How to Self-Inject," but since no one had cared to tell me, I didn't think much of it. I have lots more to say about this, too.

Surgery Post II: Pleasant Surprises

I had my appendix out when I was 10. While that wasn't exactly the highlight of my childhood, I think that having that experience made me a little less apprehensive about having this surgery. For example, I remembered that even if you were lucky enough to sleep well, nurses still came in to wake you every every 4 hours to check your vitals. I also wasn't surprised when I didn't keep down Jello and water. Thankfully though, there were a few things that I was either expecting to be awesome and WAS, or that I was dreading and it wasn't a big deal!

• The IV. The IV before went in my hand, but they put it in after I was out from the gas. All I know is that while it was in, my wrist hurt really bad and they had to put a splint on, rendering my hand useless. I was not looking forward to it. Well, this time around they put it in my arm, a couple inches below the wrist. Putting it in wasn't horrible, and I could actually use my hand without pain. One of the most painful parts of my previous trip to the hospital was when they took the IV out...this time, no problem. The area is still a little tender/bruised...but I'll take it.
• Anesthesia. Anesthesia, for me, is a trip. It's so much fun. When I was 10, they just gave me the gas, but I was looking forward to it from when I had my wisdom teeth out. It did not disappoint! You know on the edges of fluorescent lights, there are sometimes little round, plastic 'caps'? I really don't know how to explain them any better. Regardless, I definitely saw them fall. I asked the kind nurses/surgical staff if that was actually happening. "No Katie, that's just the anesthesia. The room will get kind of spinny." I looked around..."Nope, none of the rest of the room is spinning. Are you sure they're not actually falling?" Out.
• The Sore Throat. Coming out of appendix surgery, I was not surprised that my abdomen was sore. What DID surprise me was the super-duper sore throat. I was informed that it was because of the breathing tube that they used during surgery, that they didn't tell me about because if I knew about it, I would resist it (not totally sure how that would work considering I was passed out...). So I expected it this time. And I'm pretty sure they mentioned something about a breathing tube, so I was fully expecting to have a sore throat and eat lots of popsicles. Surprise, surprise...no sore throat! Huzzah!
• The Shot. I couldn't tell you what it was for, but following the appendectomy they gave me the most painful shot I've ever had in my life. Right in my thigh. I was very very very happy that that was not repeated.
• The Blowy Thingy. I think it was to ensure that you got all the anesthesia out of your lungs. I remember having to periodically blow...or actually no, I think I had to inhale...from this weird contraption. Lung capacity or something? The air tasted bad through all the tubes and made me cough. Following abdominal surgery, this was not fun. I realize that following foot surgery, it should not be a big deal. But I still didn't want to do it. Imagine my panic when my Parkland College nursing student, Tammi, asked if I had that yet. Apparently it's on every surgery patient's orders...but no one actually does it. Which is totally cool with me. I was getting all the oxygen I needed, and that's all that mattered to me.

Surgery Post I: A Call to Arms

I had foot surgery last week. I was originally going to write one big long post about it, but I tend to get bored writing them and I doubt anyone would actually want to read it. So I've decided to parse them out into several smaller posts. This way I'm more likely to finish them, and I can say 'look how productive I was today! I wrote a bunch of blog posts!'

So in this bite-sized edition, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to the million nurses and techs who made my life so much easier. I should probably send them a card.

Jaymie, Day Sam, Night Sam, Tomas, Tara, and Stella. There were probably others, but these are the people I remember the best. Jaymie was my day-time nurse. If life was Scrubs, she'd basically be a white Carla, a kind of no-nonsense-yet-very-caring nurse in charge. Sam was her tech. She was very sweet. I'm really, really thankful for Tomas, Tara, and Stella. Tomas was my first night-time nurse. Tara was my night-time tech, and Stella was Tomas' assistant. The first night was the worst. Tara and Stella cleaned me up when I threw up berry Jello and water, and did so not only without complaint, but also without making me feel like I was putting them out or making them do anything gross. Same with bed pans. Originally, Tomas just had the ladies help me with the bed pans, but at one point, all the ladies were on break, so he helped me out (with my permission). He was so incredibly professional and nice and I am so grateful. I don't know what they get paid, but it is NOT enough. These people are saints.