She Wore A Bone Necklace!

I need some creative, artsy help.

My awesome surgeon very kindly let me keep my little extra bone. It lived for awhile in my freezer, and when the weather got a little warmer out I moved it into my zucchini planter. I decided to try to clean it using cold maceration...basically, I'll keep it in a jar with some water and let the bacteria do their thing. I change the water every so often, and hopefully soon I'll have a clean bone. Then a little hydrogen peroxide for whitening/germ killing, and I should be good to go. I am a little confused, since on the same instruction sheet it then goes on to tell you to never soak the bone, but I'm hoping that just means 'once everything's off of it.' I'm also confused because I've read that to maintain bone jewelry you should oil it with jojoba or something every so often, but I've also read that you should only handle the bone with clean hands because otherwise it will soak up your oil and discolor/weaken it. I saw one guy put a coat of some kind of polymer on his collected bones (polyacrylate, I think) but I don't know for sure, and I kind of only get one shot at this.

I digress. Assuming that my bone does come out of this ordeal clean, I really really really want to make it into a necklace. Here's the catch: I don't want to do anything to damage it. No holes, no glue. I will at some point have to 'do' the other foot, and if I'm allowed to keep that bone too then I may want to make earrings. I've considered doing (learning how to do) some sort of wire-wrapping. But beyond that I'm a little stuck.

Most examples of wire-wrapping I see are very 'pretty.' I've been told or at least hinted to that my wanting to put my own foot bone in a necklace is a little weird and a little macabre. So I don't want a 'pretty' necklace of this. I want it to be totally bad-ass. My latest idea is to somehow wire-wrap it, then string it on some black hemp-knotted cord (that kind of stuff I'm already not too bad at), and then maybe even add a Mjölnir pendant. I've been a teensy bit 'into' Norse mythology as of late, and no, it's not only because of these guys. Or Thor. Which is an excellent movie, btw. I just like it. I figure I could probably use an Icelandic-style wolfshead hammer that was thought to be worn by both pagan and Christian Vikings, so it isn't being heretical or disrespectful to Norse Neo-Pagans/Heathens:

I guess the downside is that it looks a bit like an inverted cross which may make some folks think I'm satanic or something.

What to do, what to do...thoughts?

In other news, I changed the blog layout. Mostly so I could actually put in real-sized YouTube videos like the one in the previous post without resorting to creative html code that I truly do not understand and usually end up making much, much worse. I don't know that I'm crazy about it, so it may change again.

Top Ten Things I'll Miss In Ur-Paign[1}

...assuming I ever, ever get to leave. I make no bones about not loving grad school, and Tjett's employment opportunities, frankly, suck. But I have realized in my 5 years that there are indeed things I like about this town...other than, of course, my friends.

1. My surgeon. In case anyone in town is facing foot surgery and is wondering, 'How good IS Dr. Sean Grambart at Carle in Champaign?' well, wonder no more. He is awesome. He is kind, professional, easy to talk to[2], reassuring, and as far as I know (as I'm not yet healed) extremely competent. It seems like 'everyone' I talk to (because there are so many people in town I've talked to who have had foot surgery) has the same great opinion of him. And unless the nurses/medical assistants are amazing liars, they all seem to like him too. My guess is that I'll most likely need to get my other foot 'done,' and most likely I'll be gone by then. I only hope that wherever we end up, there is an equally wonderful surgeon.
2. My church. When I first started going to St Matthew Lutheran Church in Urbana, I honestly wasn't wild about the service. But I came back because the pastors and the people and the social ministry that St Matts does is just phenomenal. I am so fortunate to have found this place. I was blessed to have great pastors growing up, and I can't believe how blessed I am again to have such wonderful people in my life. 
3. Beer Fest. Or more accurately, the International Beer and Chili Tasting Festival. Tjett and I go for the beer. Held in late September/early October, it is a little pricey but well worth it. And it's within a nice night's drunken walking distance, so no problems there. Also it's special to us because that's where Tjett proposed (more or less; he waited until we got home).
4. Central Illinois Metal Fest. As ridiculous as those weekends always turn out, it's fun, and it's nice to have an excuse for my brother to come visit and eat sushi with me.
5. The dog park. I realize that wherever we end up may have a fenced-in off-leash dog park, but there's no guarantee. Tia REALLY benefits from ~weekly romps around several acres and socializing with other dogs.
6. NISA. Northern Illinois Samoyed Assistance, which is where we got Tia, is located in Arlington Heights (outside of Chicago). There seem to be several Samoyed rescue groups in the nation, but not too many that ever actually have dogs. I guess that's good. But we really like Sams, and I am not at place in my life that I would want to get a puppy...both from an 'oh my goodness puppies are HARD' as well as a social 'I'd rather adopt a homeless dog' standpoint. 
7. The co-ops and farmers market. We have a pretty good (if expensive) co-op in town, and a fabulous farmers market in the summer. Visiting the market with Tjett and Tia is one of my favorite things to do. We also have a cool art co-op that Tjett and I recently discovered. 
8. Friar Tuck. Tuck's is a FABULOUS specialty beer/wine/liquor store. Every time I go in I feel like a kid in a candy store. They have an entire WALL of really good beer, as well as a cooler where they have things like LaBatt in cans (for camping or the racetrack!). Few things make me sadder than seeing people leave that store with 24-packs of Bud Light. 
9. Ballet and Habitat. I'm clumping these together because they're both things that I like to do, wish I could do more of, and mostly likely won't get to this summer because of el surgery-o. We have an amazing adult ballet instructor, who also happens to be the Dean of the business college or something. The Habitat folks are also super awesome, and very very active, with annual build(s) and a 'ReStore' where you can donate and buy used furniture. 
10. Restaurants: Black Dog, Crane Alley, Basil Thai and Miko. I also figured I would lump all the restaurants together, as I could probably have made a top-ten list of only restaurants and bars. One of Tjett's absolute favorite places in town is Black Dog. Black Dog is this magnificent BBQ place that is far too small but has excellent food, reasonable prices, and a stellar, rotating draft beer list. Crane Alley is the grad student bar/restaurant of choice...the food is surprisingly good, and they have a massive beer list. However, the service is pretty terrible. I still like it. Basil Thai is a very-close-to-work Thai restaurant. I go there a little too often with my friend Maria. It's not even close to being the very best Thai restaurant in the world, or even in town, but when you want something spicy and good for lunch it's a great place to go. And finally, Miko is where my brother and I go to get sushi when he visits. It's delicious.

[1] Adam discovered that in the 70s the way the 'cool kids' referred to Urbana-Champaign. I like it better than Chambana, so I use it too.

[2] Not to mention easy on the eyes...

I love you, Sam Rose.

A couple years ago, I had some trouble with my car. By 'trouble', I mean it wouldn't start. The AAA guy came out (if anyone has gotten their money's worth from AAA, it's me), re-charged my battery, and told me that I needed to get a new one ASAP because this one was on its last legs.

Which was super awesome news, because I was driving to Minnesota the next day. Which, from central Illinois, can be anywhere from an 8-hour trip with no traffic to a 12-hour trip when there is construction and traffic...and lunch in Madison with Becky :). So I made the decision that I would try to drive to MN, and get a battery there.

The car survived the trip up. My mom at the time lived in one of the worst cities ever, Wayzata. Wayzata is a fairly wealthy town, with a lake, yachts, mansions, and a very cute downtown with very cute little shops and very cute little restaurants. I say it's one of the worst cities because, as my brother so eloquently put it..."They're all a bunch of rich fucks."* My mom happened to work there, and so got an apartment in town. An apartment that she paid far too much for, that had constant problems, like the ceiling caving in from busted pipes that went unfixed for months on end. Ok, I'm not a fan. But I digress.

I took my car to the local auto-body shop, where they over-charged me for the battery, and then because they had to take out my washer fluid thingy, they charged me an arm and a leg for the labor. But I got my battery, and I was good to go.

So I thought.

Fast forward maybe 6 months. I went to my car...and the battery's dead. Crap. I called AAA, and they sent a guy over. He was very, very nice, and rather dreamy. By dreamy, I mean he had long hair and a Metallica t-shirt. He re-charged my battery (oh baby) and left. After letting my car run for 30 minutes or so, I turned it off and went back inside. About 10 minutes later I decided to go run some errands, so I went back to my car...and it didn't turn on. Super crap. I called AAA again. They sent the same guy over, who waved and grinned at me from his tow truck. He got out, and said, "you just wanted to see me again!" to which I smiled and shook my head. He tried re-charging my battery again, but it just wouldn't hold a charge. He thought it was the alternator**and towed my car to a nearby Meineke (which he recommended). As we were riding to the Meineke, we were chatting, and then he remembered something.

"Oh shoot, I was supposed to identify myself when I came over. 'Howdy, my name is Sam Rose and I'm from Tatman's Towing' and I'm here to tow your car."

"I kind of figured from the 'Tatman's Towing' truck."

So...I realize that that wasn't the most 'romantic' conversation I've ever had with a total stranger (that honor may have gone to the ex-con on the bus who felt up my calves), but I've been smitten with him since that day. Every time I need my car jumped I REALLY hope it's him. It hasn't been. And yes, Tjett is very well aware of my infatuation with Sam Rose, the tow truck guy.

Oh, and the problem with my car was that the fancy-schmancy mechanic in Wayzata who replaced my battery simply finger-tightened the leads, and they had come loose. Wanna know how much I was charged for the guys at Meineke to take out my washer-fluid thingy, figure out what was wrong with my battery and fix it?

Nada.


*Yes, I realize that not all people from Wayzata are jerks, and not all rich people are jerks. In fact, I rather hope to be one of them someday. But you must admit, there is a difference between a family having money and living in a nice home...and pretentious, blatant, overt displays of "wealth and status."

**I'm convinced that all men who are not mechanics really have no idea what is ever wrong with cars, and they use "it's the alternator" on every occasion just to sound manly.

A 'Skullet' is not a good look for anyone.

This was actually written back in late July/early August. I figured I was long past a blog post, and I felt bad I never finished this, because I thought it was interesting. Enjoy.

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to attend Central Illinois Metalfest with my brother, Nick, and his friend, Vaden. Not to be confused with his dog, Vader, who also visited. It turned out to be less confusing than it sounds.

Since I'm not really 'into' Metal, and truth be told I can't pick out a good band from a crappy band, I spent most of the time trying to figure out what was going on. These shows are really fun...even if you're not a huge fan of the music, live, it's a great time. I think I had more fun this year than last, and I was totally sober this year (I suppose some of that could be WHY it was more fun...I didn't puke in the bathroom, I didn't fall asleep, and I didn't go from drunk to hungover all in one night). This is not a compendium of Metal truths, nor is it to be taken as such. They are simply a neophyte's observations. And if someone reading wants to correct me...please do.

Music
From what I gathered, there are (at least) two types of Metal: Death Metal (Old School Fucking Death Metal) and Grindcore. CIM's website also advertised 'Black Metal,' but I couldn't tell you what that is. Grindcore seems to be popular, especially among the newer bands and younger fans. Nick prefers Death Metal to Grindcore. Grindcore is almost purely technical, while Death Metal has more cool guitar riffs. I think I also prefer Death Metal. For those of you totally unversed, the vocals are nearly exclusively growls, the almost-incomprehensible 'Cookie Monster' voice. The vocalists (almost exclusively men, but there are female vocalists, who, according to my brother are almost always 'gimmicks') generally either use a low growl, or a higher-pitched rasp, or sometimes a combination of the two. Occasionally there's 'harmony' between a couple of vocalists, that's pretty cool actually.

Most of the bands have 4 or 5 members: a drummer, a bassist, and a guitarist or two and a vocalist or two, and often the vocalists are also guitarists. Though not always. And from what I can tell there's no feeling that those bands who have vocalists who don't play anything are any less talented. However, a handful of bands only have one member. This is not super common, but nor is it extremely rare. One of the most popular sets of the night was a one-man band called Putrid Pile (more on names later). He had a pre-recorded drum track, and then he played the guitar and did vocals. In one song he had his friend do vocals with him, but otherwise it was just him. And, again, I didn't get the impression that he was any less legitimate than any of the other bands.

Appearance
Standard apparel is the same for both the fans and the band members. For men, most common is jeans or shorts, any color (though dark washes and camo tend to be favorites) and black band t-shirts. Aside from those working the show, I think I saw one guy wearing a red t-shirt (though I'm pretty sure it may have also been a band shirt), and Vaden wore a navy band shirt. A couple of guys had just plain black t-shirts, and one guy had a 'Night of the Living Dead' black shirt. Hair is generally either long or shaved, and there's usually some amount of facial hair, most popularly in a grown-out goatee. The vocalist for Deceased (my favorite of the night; I even considered buying a shirt and/or CD from them) was a bit older, and probably at one point had an awesome head of hair. Unfortunately, he now has a huge bald spot. And very long hair. Not a good look. Putrid Pile, by comparison, was very clean-cut: he actually reminded me of Ben Lombardi from college, who is now, I believe, a 3rd-grade teacher.  It was a touch eerie.

The few women in attendance wore more varied things. I saw one or two girls much in the same dress as the men, though a few had somehow altered their band t-shirts to be tube tops over tank tops. I also saw a couple girls in very Hot-Topic-y dress, with fishnets and skulls and zippers. And then I saw some girls in much more 'club' attire, and they looked a bit out of place. Very cute, and very out of place.

Tattoos are widely popular. Piercings aren't prevalent, but they're not uncommon. And then usually they're just ear piercings.

Oh, and contrary to the Death Metal episode of Bones (Mayhem on a Cross, which happens to be on tonight), no one was wearing any kind of makeup. I mean the girls were wearing makeup, but no black-and-white stage makeup, or fake blood or anything, and I don't think any of the guys were wearing eyeliner. At all. That actually would have probably been considered a bit gay. More on that later, too.

Band Names
Band names are...well, they're creative. Here's a sampling:

Coathanger Abortion
Embryonic Devourment
Carnal Decay
Lecherous Nocturne
Incantation
Rottenness
Sadichist (whose guitarist is formerly of Gorgasm)
Putrid Pile, as mentioned
Deceased
Malevolent Creation

Typical names tend to have some element of death or decay, or even though I don't think many are actual theistic Satanists, some kind of demonic or at least anti-Christian connotation. I think that in my spare time, I'm going to come up with band names. How about Crucified Fetus? Or Necrotized Stab Wound?

Band t-shirts also have a definite 'look.' Similar fonts: spiky, often hard to read. Nick bought an 'Incantation' shirt, and I could have sworn at first that it said 'Incantatron.' Huge, colorful graphics that depict decaying bodies, demons, or bastardized Christian symbols. Many are actually quite beautiful, in their own kind of disturbing way.

Political and Religious Beliefs
Though I imagine not everyone shares these beliefs, based on conversations with my brother and Vaden,  and some shirts I saw, it seems pretty standard. Unfortunately, it's a fairly racist, misogynist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic culture. I'm assuming they're mostly libertarian, "conservative" but no neo-con, Christian, 'family-first' attitude. Quite the opposite, actually. As I mentioned before, I don't think too many of them are actual theistic Satanists--it's more of a, 'we all think Christianity is stupid and horrible and Satanic imagery is the most opposite of Christianity than we can think of.'

________

Here is where I stopped writing, for whatever reason. Probably because it was getting long, most likely because Tia was being bratty. Anyway, I think one big point I was going to make is that even if I could REALLY get into the music, I could not be REALLY a part of the culture, especially due to the last point.